It usually starts with one parent or the other. Or two of the kids really hit it off. Before you know it, the discussion turns to going on a vacation together. We can all hang out, it will be great – that’s the general idea. Before you click the reserve button, here are a few ideas to make sure your multi family vacation is a success.
Talk about money
Settle on a budget beforehand that everyone is comfortable with. This may be awkward, but it avoids the even more awkward situation of hashing out the bill at the end of the trip.
There should be clear expectations about which expenses are going to be split between the families and which ones are born by each family separately. If you’re renting a large house together, for example, decide who gets the master bedroom, who’s buying the groceries, etc.
Put someone in charge of logistics
Someone is booking the lodging. Someone is buying the plane tickets. Someone is in charge of getting tickets to attractions. It doesn’t have to be the same someone, but everyone needs to know who that person is. That way you don’t end up double-booking or failing to book, neither of which is an optimal arrangement.
Agree on activities – and alone time – and family time
Chances are, there are some of you that are closer than others. Maybe the moms are best friends and the dads barely know each other. Maybe the kids are the same age and get along great. Or maybe they don’t.
Prevent hurt feelings by discussing which activities you’re all going to do together, which ones are going to be done as a family. It’s okay to plan in time for people to go off on their own too.
Discuss boundaries with kids – and with regard to kids
Different families have different ideas about screen time, discipline, and behavior expectations. You don’t have to agree, but you do have to respect each others ideas. Otherwise this can quickly become a source of friction. This comes up most often because the kids will notice different standards and comment on it. They are obsessed with “fairness.” You have to decide how much you’re willing to change your parenting style to match your friends, and whether that’s a temporary (on vacation) or a permanent change.
Don’t force it
Remember, this is a vacation. It’s supposed to be fun. Don’t try to forcibly create a magic memory. Just relax and you’ll find that it happens naturally. You may find yourself doing a multi family vacation every year. Or you may find that it was a one time thing. Either way is okay.