How to Travel with Kids – Expectation Management

[excerpt from the book Travel With Kids]

My wife and I love to travel. When we had kids, we discovered a prevailing wisdom that was very common in American society. Travel, especially world travel involving trains, tuk tuks, and other means, was not for kids. Once you had kids, your traveling days were over until the kids moved out again. This was unacceptable to us, so we kept traveling. Along the way, I’ve discovered the secret to how to travel with kids.

Parents, sorry but this is not a huge secret. It’s two words – expectation management. In today’s post, I discuss a few elements of expectation management including:

• Dealing with short attention spans
• Experiencing nightlife while traveling with kids
• Food issues – what to do when your kids refuse to eat on a trip
• Adding kid friendly events to the itinerary

Squirrel! How to Deal with Shorter Attention Spans

Maybe this is the trip of a lifetime for you. Maybe you’ve been waiting for years to see this building in person, or to visit this city. Hopping on a flight did not radically transform your children. Whatever attention span your kids have at home is the attention span they brought with them on the trip. Keep that in mind.

When my children were younger, I was convinced that a fruit fly had a greater attention span. Growing up in the digital age, they are masters of multitasking. At least that’s what their generation tells themselves. In reality, they are masters of being distracted repeatedly. This can be very frustrating when traveling if you allow it to be. We chose to capitalize on it.

When we took our kids to Paris, we wanted them to see the Louvre. It’s possible to spend hours or even days in that magnificent museum, strolling through the galleries and admiring the masterpieces that stretch all the way up to the vaulted ceilings. It is not possible, however, with an eight-year-old. Set your goals a little lower and you’ll find it leads to greater satisfaction for the whole family.

We made a quick list of the top 10 to 20 works to see in the Louvre. The big ones, so to speak. Then we blew through the museum and covered them all with a generous helping of breaks and snacks along the way. They can always go back to Paris later, or look it up online and learn more. It will be more real to them because they’ve seen it in person.

Did our trip turn my kids into experts in the intricacies of the Renaissance movement? Not even close. But they do remember seeing the Winged Victory of Samothrace. They can identify statues of Greek gods by their accessories (winged feet, snake staff). And they don’t hate museums, which can be a side effect of dragging hours on end looking at the works of Dutch masters.

One Night in Bangkok: Nightlife and Travel with Kids

If you’ve taken a family vacation before, in the U.S. or abroad, this caveat should not come as a surprise. Don’t expect to hit the full moon parties on the beaches of Southern Thailand with kids in tow. Much like when you are home, your ability to enjoy the nightlife while traveling will depend to a large extent on the age of your children, your comfort level with leaving them in the care of sitters, and your desire to party like you’re twenty-five again.

Keep the local culture in mind as well. If your kids are young, you’re probably looking to hit a restaurant and be back at the hotel before 7 p.m. If you’re in Spain, however, you may find that the restaurants don’t open for dinner before 7 p.m. So what do you do? As always, you live like the locals. Settle in for a nap in the afternoon and take the kids to dinner later.

Sometimes you want an evening without kids. On a short trip of a week or less, you may not feel this urge. The longer the trip, the more it will seem like a good idea. If you’re staying at a decent hotel (i.e. an expensive one,) the concierge should be able to provide a list of babysitters or arrange for one for you. If not, try searching the local expat websites for suggestions.

Food Fights: It’s Okay to Eat McDonald’s

We don’t eat much fast food as a family. That changed when we went to Japan. My son was four years old at the time. We ate at McDonald’s every third day, just to make sure that he actually ate because he was not a fan of trying new foods. Then we left Tokyo. On our way to a remote ryokan near Mount Fuji, I tried to prepare him for the tragedy that was to come.

“Listen,” I explained. “There won’t be a McDonald’s near the new hotel. So you have to eat whatever we order, ok?”

He nodded his little head soberly. He had the last laugh, though. After two trains and a bus, we pulled up to a rural bus station. Perched in the corner window of the building were the familiar golden arches. “See, dad,” he said smiling. “There’s nothing to worry about.”

When I travel with kids, food is an area where I am willing to compromise up to a point. Put yourself in their shoes. They’ve been pulled away from everything they know as familiar. There are strange sounds, strange smells, and signs in languages that they can’t read. Suddenly, they see a familiar trademark sign above an American franchise. Indulge them. Up to a point, that is. After all, travel is partly about getting out of your comfort zone. My suggestion is to take a two-pronged approach.

The first prong is to agree in advance when you will, collectively as a family, try new foods. Doing this in advance is very important. Springing congee on a kid at 7:00 a.m. when he has his heart set on waffles (for the third day in a row) is a recipe for disaster. If it’s breakfast, discuss it the night before. If it’s dinner, mention it in the afternoon.

The second prong is to give in. Order the fast food from time to time. But while you’re giving in, make it a learning experience. Talk about how the food is different than it is in America. I don’t just mean ordering a Royale with Cheese instead of a Quarterpounder. Spend some time looking at the menu in the restaurant. Ask your kids how the menu is different from the one that they’re used to. All of the McDonald’s restaurants in Malaysia, for example, are certified halal. Ask them why that might be.

You never know what will stick either. To this day, one of my kids loves sushi from our time in Japan eight years ago. He liked his chopsticks so much that he started using them to eat his breakfast cereal when we got home from Japan. Now he’s the most adept chopstick-er in the whole family.

Playgrounds and Beaches: Adding Kid Stuff to the Itinerary

It can’t all be museums. When you travel with kids, get them involved by letting them pick some of the attractions that you’ll visit.  They’re likely to pick the beach or the zoo. Maybe even a movie. Much like the fast food, going to the movie theater in another country can be an educational experience as well. How do the ticket prices compare to those back home? What about the commercials they show before the movie? Do they have subtitles? Are the snacks different at the concession stand? We’ve noticed that movies are even edited for content when shown in more conservative countries.

Going to  a playground or park can be a great way to let kids run off some energy. They might meet local kids and learn a new game or two.

Also check out my other tips on how to travel with kids, including tips about culture shock and how to pack.